Infidelity In A Relationship - Save Marriage

Thursday, January 24th, 2013 at 12:10 am ?

It is not uncommon for relationships to suffer from some kind of troubled times at one point or another. This is actually just part-and-parcel of being together and such problems can usually be resolved very quickly.

However, when one party in a relationship has crossed the boundary is being infidel to his or her partner, it can be very difficult for the couple to be like before. For a relationship to bounce back from an infidelity is really the hardest thing to deal with.

If you do not want to break up with your partner even after what he or she had done, there are actually ways in which you can patch things up again. But before doing that, you have to be absolutely sure that you do still love your spouse and want to remain married together. In fact, both parties have to be willing to resolve the issue before anything can be done.

What happens when one party is still mad about the infidelity and refuses to let go of the grudge, can the marriage still be fixed? I?m afraid that will be next to impossible as there will only be one party fixing the problem.

Regardless of whether both of you intend to fix the problem or otherwise, it is always best to spend some time away from each other first. That will allow both parties ample space and time to think things through carefully. Having a clear head is vital to the recovery process because you will need some careful planning first.

Nevertheless, it is important to note that reconciliation is not likely to happen overnight or even a few days for that matter. It may not even happen until a few months later if the suffering party still cannot get over the betrayal. This is an important point to keep in mind because if you expect things to go back to normal very quickly, you are only heading for a huge disappointment.

Only when both of you feel that you have sufficient time to reconsider things and are ready to talk, should you arrange for a heart-to-heart meeting. However, if you have children, make sure they are not within earshot as such news might not be easy for them to handle.

Moreover, both of you must not be distracted when you are discussing and planning for your next step. Thus, ensure that you have a babysitter to take them out before you sit down and talk.

The first thing you should talk about is why did the infidelity take place in the first place. Find out if things could have been prevented and what part both of you play in the situation. Does he or she feel that you have been neglecting them or was it solely their lack of self control?

It is vital that you deal only with your spouse. This matter is between you and your partner so no third parties should be involved, be it a family member, friend or even the person whom your spouse had slept with. You need to know what had caused your spouse to stray and there is no point in bringing other people into the picture, that will only complicate matters.

During this first meeting with your spouse after the betrayal, you should tell him or her how you feel about the whole matter, from the day you discover the affair. It had been a difficult period and your spouse should know about the sufferings they have caused you.

After all that had happened, do you still think the marriage is worth keeping? If both of you agree that the relationship should not end, then it may be a good idea to seek professional help. A marriage counselor will be able to help both of you to work out a plan on what steps both of you should take from this point on.

Keep in mind that you should not hide your feelings and thoughts during your discussions with your spouse as well as with the marriage counselor. This will speed up the recovery process and lessen the sufferings.

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Source: http://www.savemarriage.expertreviewslist.com/infidelity-in-a-relationship.html

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